1. Hi there
you must agree to both in order to use our Service. We know it’s boring but it’s reading things like this
that helps to prevent you from becoming a part of the HumancentiPad.
2. The meaning of stuff
Throughout this Agreement, we may use certain words or phrases, and it is important that you
understand the meaning of them. The list is not all-encompassing and no definition should be
considered binding to the point that it renders this Agreement nonsensical:
“Agreement” means these Terms of Service;
“App” means the mobile device software application designed for use with our Service which we
may or may not choose to make available;
“Minimal” refers to our company, known as “Minimal, Inc.”; our Site; our Service; our App;
a kind of weird techno music; or a combination of all or some of the preceding definitions,
depending on the context in which the word is used;
“Service” refers to the services that we provide through our Site, including but not limited to our
clutter pickup service and our Site itself;
“Site” refers to our website, www.gominimal.com;
“User” refers to anyone who uses our Service, including but not limited to general visitors to our
“You” as in, “Hey, you!” refers to you, the person who is entering into this Agreement with
3. What the heck is a Minimal?
Minimal makes it as easy and simple as possible for people to de-clutter their homes. Here’s the way
it works: You schedule a pickup for free using our web (or if you’re super high-tech, App) interface. On the date of
your pickup, we'll send a text message notification letting you know we're on our way. We take your stuff and
we sell some of ourself, the rest of it, gets donated to one of our partners
We pick up your stuff for free, you get some good karma and you know that your stuff is going to a better place.
Subject to this Agreement, anyone within the areas where we’re available can use our Service, as long as they have
access to our web or mobile application. If you live on Mars please do not submit any orders at this time—we’re working on it.
4. Getting past the doorman
In order to use our Service, you must meet a number of conditions, including but not limited to:
• You must be the minimum age required to enter into a contract in the area in which you reside,
and, in any event, must not be less than 18 years of age.
• You must provide us with personal information, payment information, and other information
that we deem necessary to provide you with our Service.
• You must not be a robot, especially if you’re the kind that has achieved a human level of
sentience because those ones are always either totally evil or totally nice and we don’t want to
take the gamble.
Minimal hereby disclaims itself from any liability for damaged items and you hereby agree to waive
us from any liability for the same, as we are unable to thoroughly inspect everything provided to us.
The Internet is serious business, and so we have come up with some rules to reflect this fact. You pinky
swear that you will not:
• Violate the laws of the United States, its states, or any foreign political entity having jurisdiction
over this Agreement, whether or not the foreign political entity is a country or a subdivision
(such as a state or province) or municipality (such as a city, town, county, or region) of a foreign
• Engage in fraud or negligence.
• Put anything dangerous in the goods that you have picked up by us. No poisonous snakes,
• Infringe on anyone’s intellectual property rights, defame anyone, impersonate anyone, or
otherwise violate the rights of a third party.
• Hack, crack, phish, SQL inject, Botox inject, or otherwise compromise the security or integrity of
the Minimal Site, Service, or its Users’ computers.
• Do anything else which could bring Minimal into disrepute or violate the rights of any third
7. Payment and refunds
Pickups are free! That means you don't pay us any cash, you just give us your stuff. And that's it.
If you decide to cancel a pickup order, that's fine. Just please don’t cancel it as you see us walking
to the door—give us a bit of notice.
9. Don’t be plagiarizing or we’ll tell the teacher
Our copyright is important to us. Not only is it a valuable staple that helps us survive through our
harsh arctic winters, but it is also useful in distinguishing us from competing businesses. You agree not
to copy, distribute, display, disseminate, or otherwise reproduce any of the information on our Site
without receiving our prior written permission.
“Minimal” is a trademark used by us, Minimal, Inc., to uniquely identify our Site, Service, and business.
This is known in technical legal terms as our “bling.” You agree not to use our bling anywhere without
our prior written consent. Additionally, you agree not to use our trade dress, or copy the look and feel
of our Site or its design, without our prior written consent. You agree that this paragraph goes beyond
the governing law on intellectual property law, and includes prohibitions on any competition that
violates the provisions of this paragraph, including starting your own competing business.
We may revoke our consent for your use of our intellectual property, or any other permission granted
to you under this Agreement, at any time. You agree that if we so request, you must take immediate
action to remove any usage of our intellectual property that you may have engaged in, even if it would
cause a loss to you. We recommend not naming your puppy after us even if we give you permission
because if it’s really cute we might take it and make it our mascot, all nice and legal-like.
12. Representations & Warranties
THIS SECTION IS SUPER IMPORTANT SO WE HAVE TO TYPE LIKE WE’RE YELLING. ACTUALLY, THERE’S
NO LAW THAT SAYS IT HAS TO BE IN ALL CAPS BUT A LONG TIME AGO A MAN IN A BLACK ROBE AND A
POWDERED WIG STARTED DOING IT AND THEN EVERYBODY STARTED COPYING HIM SO NOW IT’S JUST
KIND OF TRADITION.
WE MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES AS TO THE MERCHANTABILITY OF OUR SERVICE
OR FITNESS FOR ANY PARTICULAR PURPOSE. YOU AGREE THAT YOU ARE RELEASING US FROM
ANY LIABILITY THAT WE MAY OTHERWISE HAVE TO YOU IN RELATION TO OR ARISING FROM THIS
AGREEMENT OR OUR SERVICES, FOR REASONS INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, FAILURE OF OUR
SERVICE, NEGLIGENCE, OR ANY OTHER TORT. TO THE EXTENT THAT APPLICABLE LAW RESTRICTS THIS
RELEASE OF LIABILITY, YOU AGREE THAT WE ARE ONLY LIABLE TO YOU FOR THE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF
DAMAGES THAT THE LAW RESTRICTS OUR LIABILITY TO, IF SUCH A MINIMUM EXISTS.
YOU AGREE THAT WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE IN ANY WAY FOR DAMAGES CAUSED BY THIRD PARTIES
WHO MAY USE OUR SERVICES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO PEOPLE WHO COMMIT INTELLECTUAL
PROPERTY INFRINGEMENT, DEFAMATION, TORTIOUS INTERFERENCE WITH ECONOMIC RELATIONS, OR
ANY OTHER ACTIONABLE CONDUCT TOWARDS YOU.
WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY FAILURE ON THE PART OF A THIRD PARTY, INCLUDING YOUR
CREDIT CARD COMPANY OR OUR PAYMENT PROCESSOR, TO DIRECT PAYMENTS TO THE CORRECT
DESTINATION, OR ANY ACTIONS ON THEIR PART IN PLACING A HOLD ON YOUR FUNDS.
WE ARE NOT LIABLE FOR ANY FAILURE OF THE GOODS OR SERVICES OF OUR COMPANY OR A
THIRD PARTY, INCLUDING ANY FAILURES OR DISRUPTIONS, UNTIMELY DELIVERY, SCHEDULED OR
UNSCHEDULED, INTENTIONAL OR UNINTENTIONAL, ON OUR WEBSITE WHICH PREVENT ACCESS TO OUR
WEBSITE TEMPORARILY OR PERMANENTLY.
THE PROVISION OF OUR SERVICE TO YOU IS CONTINGENT ON YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THIS AND ALL
OTHER SECTIONS OF THIS AGREEMENT. NOTHING IN THE PROVISIONS OF THIS “REPRESENTATIONS &
WARRANTIES” SECTION SHALL BE CONSTRUED TO LIMIT THE GENERALITY OF THE FIRST PARAGRAPH OF
For Jurisdictions that do not allow us to limit our liability: Notwithstanding any provision
of these Terms, if your jurisdiction has provisions specific to waiver or liability that
conflict with the above then our liability is limited to the smallest extent possible by law.
Specifically, in those jurisdictions not allowed, we do not disclaim liability for: (a) death or
personal injury caused by its negligence or that of any of its officers, employees or agents;
or (b) fraudulent misrepresentation; or (c) any liability which it is not lawful to exclude
either now or in the future.
IF YOU ARE A RESIDENT OF A JURISDICTION THAT REQUIRES A SPECIFIC STATEMENT REGARDING
RELEASE THEN THE FOLLOWING APPLIES. FOR EXAMPLE, CALIFORNIA RESIDENTS MUST, AS A
CONDITION OF THIS AGREEMENT, WAIVE THE APPLICABILITY OF CALIFORNIA CIVIL CODE SECTION 1542,
WHICH STATES, “A GENERAL RELEASE DOES NOT EXTEND TO CLAIMS WHICH THE CREDITOR DOES NOT
KNOW OR SUSPECT TO EXIST IN HIS OR HER FAVOR AT THE TIME OF EXECUTING THE RELEASE, WHICH
IF KNOWN BY HIM OR HER MUST HAVE MATERIALLY AFFECTED HIS OR HER SETTLEMENT WITH THE
DEBTOR." YOU HEREBY WAIVE THIS SECTION OF THE CALIFORNIA CIVIL CODE. YOU HEREBY WAIVE ANY
SIMILAR PROVISION IN LAW, REGULATION, OR CODE THAT HAS THE SAME INTENT OR EFFECT AS THE
OKAY, BACK TO NORMAL TYPING NOW.
13. Fancy communications devices
We may, but are not obligated to, make an App available for you to use our Service. You may access
our Service and be notified by text message when we’re on our way to pick up your stuff. In such
cases, your mobile network provider may charge obscene fees because the FCC thinks oligopolies are a
good idea. You agree that Minimal is not liable for such fees and we advise you to contact your mobile
network provider to ensure that you don’t get any surprised on your phone bill.
14. Don`t let the proverbial bull into the equally proverbial China shop
You agree to indemnify and hold us harmless for any claims by you or any third party which may arise
from or relate to this Agreement or the provision of our service to you, including any damages caused
by your use of our Site or acceptance of the offers contained on it. You also agree that you have a duty
to defend us against such claims and we may require you to pay for an attorney(s) of our choice in such
cases. You agree that this indemnity extends to requiring you to pay for our reasonable attorneys’ fees,
court costs, and disbursements. In the event of a claim such as one described in this paragraph, we may
elect to settle with the party/parties making the claim, and you shall be liable for the damages as though
we had proceeded with a trial. This means that if the our defense in a lawsuit that you`ve caused is the
legal equivalent to putting a sedated kitten up against Mike Tyson for twelve rounds, we can just throw
in the towel and make you pay. Obviously, we hope it never comes to that, especially for the kitten’s
15. Rules of the game
This Agreement shall be governed by the laws in force in the State of California. The offer and
acceptance of this contract are deemed to have occurred in the State of California. Arnold
Schwarzenegger was the 38th Governor of California. For more facts about California, consult your local
16. Solving our differences
Due to recent legislative changes in the State of California, surfing competitions are no longer
recognized as a method of solving legal disputes. Therefore, you agree that any dispute arising from
or relating to this Agreement will be heard solely by a court of competent jurisdiction in the State
of California. Specifically, where the subject matter of a dispute is eligible for it, you agree that any
disputes shall be heard solely within the lowest civil court of competent jurisdiction in the State of
California (“Small Claims Court”).
If a dispute claims multiple claims and one or more of those claims would be eligible to be heard by the
Small Claims Court, you agree not to bring the other claims against us and to instead proceed within the
Small Claims Court.
If you would be entitled in a dispute to an amount exceeding the monetary jurisdiction of the Small
Claims Court, you agree to waive your right to collect any damages in excess of the monetary jurisdiction
and instead still bring your claim within the Small Claims Court.
You agree that if a dispute is eligible to be heard in Small Claims Court but you would be entitled to an
additional or alternative remedy in a higher court, such as injunctive relief, you will waive your right to
that remedy and still bring the dispute within the Small Claims Court.
If you bring a dispute in a manner other than in accordance with this section, you agree that we may
move to have it dismissed, and that you will be responsible for our reasonable attorneys’ fees, court
costs, and disbursements in doing so.
You agree that the unsuccessful party in any dispute arising from or relating to this Agreement will be
responsible for the reimbursement of the successful party’s reasonable attorneys’ fees, court costs, and
17. Zombie attacks
You agree that we are not responsible to you for anything that we may otherwise be responsible
for, if it is the result of events beyond our control, including, but not limited to, acts of God, war,
insurrection, riots, zombie attacks, terrorism, crime, labor shortages (including lawful and unlawful
strikes), embargoes, postal disruption, communication disruption, unavailability of payment processors,
Martian or other extraterrestrial invasion, failure or shortage of infrastructure, shortage of materials,
the Black Death, or any other event beyond our control.
In the event that a provision of this Agreement is found to be unlawful, conflicting with another
provision of the Agreement, or otherwise unenforceable, the Agreement will remain in force as though
it had been entered into without that unenforceable provision being included in it.
If two or more provisions of this Agreement are deemed to conflict with each other’s operation, Minimal
shall have the sole right to elect which provision remains in force. We may do this by shooting the best
two out of three dice, or we may simply choose which one is most preferable to Minimal.
19. No rabid gerbils, please
Minimal reserves all rights afforded to us under this Agreement as well as under the provisions of any
applicable law. Our non-enforcement of any particular provision or provisions of this Agreement or any
applicable law should not be construed as our waiver of the right to enforce that same provision under
the same or different circumstances at any time in the future. Just because we let it slide when one
person leaves rabid gerbils in their pick-up order doesn’t mean that we’ll let the next person get away
with it, too.
We may terminate your access to our Site and Service at our discretion without explanation, though we
will strive to provide a timely explanation in most cases. Our liability for refunding you, if you have paid
anything to us, will be limited to the amount you paid for goods or services which have not yet been
and will not be delivered, except in cases where the termination or cancellation was due to your breach
of this Agreement, in which case you agree that we are not required to provide any refund or other
Under no circumstances, including termination or cancellation of our Service to you, will we be liable for
any losses related to actions of other Users.
21. Assignment of Rights
You may not assign your rights and/or obligations under this Agreement to any other party without our
prior written consent. We may assign our rights and/or obligations under this Agreement to any other
party at our discretion, even if we do so eccentrically by simply passing out shares in our company to
random hobos. It's more likely that if we ever used this section it would be to sell our company, but we
don’t foresee that in the near future because we enjoy doing this too much.
We may amend this Agreement from time to time. When we amend this Agreement, we will update
this page accordingly and indicate when it was last changed. You must read this page each time you use
our Service and your continued use of our Service shall constitute your acceptance of any such changes.
23. California Users and Residents
Pursuant to California Civil Code Section 1789.3, any questions about pricing, complaints, or inquiries
about Minimal must be addressed to our agent for notice and sent via certified mail to that agent. For
our agent’s most current contact information, please send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org or call
(415) 890-5553. Our apologies but we are not equipped to accept messages by carrier pigeons at this
Lastly, California users are also entitled to the following specific consumer rights notice: The Complaint
Assistance Unit of the Division of Consumer Services of the California Department of Consumer Affairs
may be contacted in writing at 1625 North Market Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95834, or by telephone at
(916) 445-1254 or (800) 952-5210.
Last Modified: March 12, 2014